The Fox and the Flirt
by TheOwl'sQuill
Summary: Best friends Alice and Jasmine find themselves transported to the world of D. Gray-Man and are stuck in the Black Order. Perverted jokes and cheesey romance abounds in this crack fic! This fic has a strong T rating
1. Oh Shit

**Hello everyone! There isn't much more I can say about this story except it's a crack fic! Don't take it too seriously and have fun! ;3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man or any other media that might be mentioned!**

* * *

Alice groaned and rolled onto her side, wondering when her bed got so hard and where her blanket went.

"What the hell?" She suddenly heard Jasmine exclaim, and she reluctantly opened her eyes to see... the sky?

"What the hell...?" she mumbled holding her head, damn her head hurt, and sat up. Her grey eyes met confused brown ones.

"Where the fuck are we!?"

Finally shaking away the last of the grogginess she stood up and looked around, seeing Jasmine running in frantic circles around a field outside of a small town.

"Where the hell are we?" she mumbled.

Jasmine suddenly froze and stared at her "How the heck should I know? Just a second ago we were in your room reading, and now we're here!" she said throwing her hands up in the air.

Alice's eyes opened wide in panic, "Do you think we're dreaming?"

"Both of us in the same dream?"

Alice shrugged, "Sure, why not?"

Suddenly, Jasmine reached out and pinched her in the arm, "Ow! What the hell?"

"Did that hurt?"

"Yes..."

"Then we're not dreaming!"

"Well what are we gonna do!?" Alice cried now panicking too.

"I don't know you're the smart one!" Jasmine yelled back.

"Eh-ehm," they suddenly heard someone clear their throat and both girls whipped around to stare at a man with spiky, light brown hair.

"I couldn't help but over hear...are you girls lost?"

"Pfft, lost? More like fell from the sky," Alice replied and Jasmine elbowed her in the side.

"Fell from the sky?" the man asked sounding truly intrigued.

Both girls raised an eyebrow at the man's seemingly genuine reply, "You're crazy, aren't you?" Jasmine asked, and it was Alice's turn to shove an elbow into her friend's ribs.

The man frowned and opened his mouth to reply. "Excuse my friend!" Alice cut in quickly, planting her hand over Jasmine's mouth. "And if you don't mind...could you tell us where we are?"

He looked at them confused but answered anyway, "We're in England."

Alice clamped her hand down harder on Jasmine's mouth as she let out a squeak. She grabbed Alice's wrist and pulled her a few steps away, they turned their backs to the man and Jasmine whispered loudly:

"I don't remember flying to England!" she hissed.

"Of course we didn't fly here you twit!"

"Well maybe we were kidnapped! And how else would we get here!?"

"...And they just left us here?" Alice asked incredulously.

Jasmine shrugged "Maybe they threw us out of the plane, fell from the sky you know?"

Alice stared at her friend's innocent smile, "Are you trying to mock me?" she growled. Before the other girl could answer they heard the strange man cough for their attention.

"I'm sorry, but did you say you flew here?"

Both girls stared at him, eyebrows raised, before Alice finally shrugged, "Yeah, how else would we have gotten here?"

"From where exactly?" Alice narrowed her eyes, uncomfortable with the more personal question.

"Why, from Mars of course!" she snapped before Jasmine's hand connected with the back of her light auburn head.

"From _Mars?" _Jasmine and Alice stared at the man as he once again seemed to take the sarcastic reply too seriously.

"Who the hell are you!?" Jasmine finally exclaimed.

"Oh! Excuse my bad manners," the man said rubbing the back of his neck. "My name is Reever Wenham."

Something sparked in the back of Alice's mind "Reever?" She asked thoughtfully, only now noticing the man's clothes seemed a little... outdated.

"Kinda sounds like beaver..." Jasmine chimed in.

"Like... Justin Beiber?" Alice chuckled, coming away from her musings.

Reever gave them one more strange look, but then nodded to himself as if coming to a decision. "And your names?" he asked.

"Oh, right! I'm Jasmine Gray," Jasmine stepped forward and extended a milky brown hand for Reever to shake.

"I'm Alice Wright," she nodded, also extending a lightly sun kissed hand.

Reever shook both girls' hands in turn, "Well Miss Gray and Miss Wright you're in luck. I'm part of an organization that is based here in England that could help you find out what happened. Our headquarters is only a short train ride away."

Alice and Jasmine exchanged glances. Sure it wasn't exactly the best idea to follow a strange man to his organization while lost in a foreign country, but some familiarity about the man seemed to be blocking the "man in a white van" and "you don't want to end up as part of the human trafficking business" warning bells. Finally they both shrugged and moved to follow the him into the small town.

* * *

"I never realized some towns in Europe were still so... rustic" Jasmine said once they entered the town.

Alice couldn't help but agree, the buildings and streets looked like they were from the same time period as Sherlock Holmes, but at the same time they didn't really look like they'd been there that long. "I know, I'm half expecting Robert Downey Jr. to walk around the corner," Alice finally mumbled, voicing her thoughts.

"I would sure love for that to happen!" Jasmine winked. "Hey!" She called out to Reever, "What is this organization of yours anyway!?"

"We're affiliated with the church," he said as they boarded the train. "We dedicate our lives to helping people."

"Soooo...like...nuns?" Jasmine asked.

"Or Mother Teresa?" Alice chimed in as she plopped down next to Jasmine in their little compartment. She pulled up her bare foot and scowled at the bottom of it. Of course it would be just their luck that the two girls had woken up without any shoes. They were even still wearing their clothes they had been when she last remembered them reading in her room. Not to mention both they, and their clothes, looked liked they got massacred by a lawn mower and then chewed up and crapped out by a cow or two.

"No," Reever said with a bit of a grin, "More like exorcists."

Alice froze and turned to stare at Jasmine "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" both said at the same time. Both turned and looked at Reever, then back at the passing town, then back to _Reever _and the strangely dressed people on the train.

"Do you think...?"

"Nah," Alice replied staring straight at Reever who was now giving them the strangest look "Couldn't be."

* * *

Reever hadn't lied and the train ride really was short. Of course during that time Jasmine had somehow managed to fall asleep sprawled out across Alice's lap and the taller girl absently played with her friend's soft, dark brown curls.

"You two must be really close," Reever had said with a smile.

But instead of agreeing Alice grinned dubiously, "Nope, she just would have been a pain in the ass until she had her way." She tugged on one of the curls, but the other girl didn't even twitch.

Reever stared at the two strange girls thoroughly confused, but settled on just sitting back and smiling as Alice went back to playing with Jasmine's hair.

Shortly after the train started to slow as it approached the station and Alice gave Jasmine's hair a good tug causing the other girl to jump up, fully awake.

"Bitch!" she glared, but Alice only smiled and got up to follow Reever. And so they began to walk...and walk...and walk…and walk...and walk...

"WHAT THE FUCK? How tall is this fucking mountain!?" Jasmine cried after they had been walking for what seemed like hours.

"I swear we're almost to the top," Reever said, sounding almost as tired as the girls were.

Alice and Jasmine looked up to see that they really were almost to the top, but now Jasmine started to become nervous, "Alice... what are we gunna do if we really are in..."

"C'mon Jasmine, I really doubt we're in... oh _shit!"_

Jasmine and Alice both stared at a giant building with a massive door in front of them.

"Ladies, welcome to the Black Order."

* * *

**I know, I know, if you read my story Strange New World then you know this is the second story I've written about people getting transported to other worlds. This one; however, was actually inspired by SNW. A friend was staying with me for a few weeks over the summer and after she read SNW she came up with the fabulous idea for this story. So, many of the ideas in this story are hers as well as mine.**

**This story is also almost completely finished being written, so expect regular updates once a week!**

**Please Review!**


	2. Strike!

**Hello everyone! First off I would like to thank Halley Vanaria and my friend The Dark Door for their lovely reviews!**

**Today was actually my first day of school, but since the story almost all written already my readers should still expect a new chapter every Tuesday.**

**Now! Without further delay I give you chapter 2!**

* * *

"Prepare for examination!" the huge face on the door said before lasers came out of its eyes.

"The fuck!?" Jasmine exclaimed as the lasers swept over her. Alice standing next to her gasped as well, but as soon as the door guard had confirmed they were not Akuma they were rushed inside to meet the branch head.

"You know, I'm not really looking forward to meeting Komui," Alice mumbled out of the side of her mouth.

"Me neither," Jasmine whispered "That guy is crazy as hell."

They continued walking, but Jasmine couldn't help but notice the stupid grin on Alice's face. "Alright, what's so funny?" she whispered.

Her grin widened, "Must make Lenalee macho."

Jasmine burst out laughing as everyone in hall turned to stare at her. Alice raised an eyebrow at the on lookers as no one even cracked a grin. Jasmine stuck her tongue out at them and let Alice drag her after Reever by the wrist.

"Alright ladies, remain out here with the guards while I go in and explain what happened. When you're called in try to be respectful even if the branch head is a little... odd." Reever warned as they finally approached Komui's office.

Once Reever knocked on the door and entered the office the two girls turned to the guards. "Soo..." Alice began, "How are your days going?"

No answer.

"Read any good books lately?"

No answer.

"Any girls in your lives?" Jasmine chimed on.

Still no answer.

Jasmine stuck her tongue out and waved a hand in front of the closest guard's face, but pouted when he still didn't react. "First one to get a reaction wins?" Jasmine asked.

Alice shrugged, "I dunno, but if these guards are any good then things might get a little extreme..."

"Like what?" Jasmine asked.

The gray eyed girl smirked a little, "I could always, ya know, take my top off."

Jasmine was about to reply when she heard one of the guards finally speak, "That, uh, won't be necessary miss." He said with a light blush.

Alice's grin widened and turned back to Jasmine, "I win." she winked.

"Oooh, you sneaky little bitch," Jasmine glared at her, but Alice only bowed.

Before the guards could comment on the situation Reever stuck his head out the door, "You can come in now," he said, and both girls were hurried into a large office.

When inside the girls saw an all too familiar figure sitting at a very familiar desk.

"I think I'm gunna be sick," Alice mumbled, holding back a sudden wave of panic.

"Me too, this is just weird as hell!" Jasmine whispered back.

"Good evening Miss Grey, Miss Wright." Komui said with a smile, getting their attention. "I'm not sure what Reever told you," He gave the other man a meaningful look, "But I think this organization isn't exactly what you think it is."

"Of course not, you're the Black Order," Alice drawled as she crossed her legs and leaned back in the chair she'd been offered. Jasmine stared at her friend, surprised and wondering if she was trying to get them both killed.

"You know about the Black Order?" Komui asked, skeptical.

"Only a little," she shrugged. "We're civilians, not stupid."

Suddenly, boisterous laughter boomed from the back corner of the room. "I like this one!" A red-headed man stomped forward, slapping his hand down on Komui's desk.

"Oh Cross... I forgot you were there," Komui sweat-dropped.

Cross let loose a toothy grin, "Wouldn't a fresh pretty thing like you like to join me for a drink sometime?"

Jasmine pointed at Cross, "This guy's fucking nuts." She said. Many hands in the room went up to cover grins. "She's not even old enough to drink."

"Haha! A lass like that is never too young to drink!"

"Hmm, well yes Cross, but perhaps we should get this whole situation figured out before we make drinking plans." Komui sighed.

Cross looked a little disappointed, "Fine," he shrugged, and Komui picked up some notes.

"So Reever says you're lost?"

"Yup," Alice shrugged.

"And does the word 'Akuma' mean anything to you?"

"Demon in Japanese," Jasmine said helpfully.

"The Millenium Earl," Alice said and the room grew quiet.

"You know about the Millenium Earl? From where and how much?"

Alice tried her best to look nonchalant, "A few people here and there. A story I heard once. He seems to be a kind of boogey-man."

"Boogey-man, huh?" Komui said quietly to himself. "Well ladies it's getting late and we can't do anything about you being lost tonight. If you'll wait outside my office my dear Lenalee will show you around!" He jumped up, hearts forming out of thin air.

Jasmine pulled Alice out of the room behind her as the taller girl stared at the strange hearts. "That's not possible," she said, but suddenly Jasmine punched her in the arm.

"Ow! What the hell was that for!?"

"For whatever the fuck that was in there!" Jasmine whispered furiously, "What do you think you're doing telling him we know about the Earl?"

"Well I had to do something!" Gray eyes flashed. "We had to at least look interesting or they would have just thrown us out on the street! Then what would we have done? Found a nice cardboard box to live in?"

"Whatever," Jasmine glared half-heartedly as they heard footsteps coming down the hall.

* * *

"So where can a girl get a shower around here?" Alice asked; a bundle of clothes in her hands. The person that had interrupted the girls' argument had been none other than Miss Lenalee Lee herself. The exorcist had shown them around the huge building, leaving out some of the more war related things than when she had done the same thing for Allen. She had helped them pick out spare pieces of uniforms and was now showing them the room the two friends would share.

Lenalee frowned a little, "Well the showers in the girl's washroom are out after the science department's most recent... experiment, so we've been sharing for the past couple of days. The girls get the showers from five o'clock to seven, there should be towels and soaps in your room." she said with a smile.

"Alright, thanks," Alice said with a smile and shut the door. Jasmine watched as her friend banged her head against the wall, making a gagging sound.

"Come on, she's not that bad," Jasmine laughed.

"No not _that _bad, but don't you dare tell me you don't want to beat her with a shoe too!" Alice groaned.

Jasmine shook her head and grabbed a towel and some soap off of a chair, "Dumbass."

Alice glared and grabbed the other towel, running after her. They slowly made their way down the hallways until they found the boys bathroom. The showers inside were guy's locker room style and were open without curtains. Chest high walls separated the individual showers from each other, but they could easily be talked over.

* * *

"We're baaaack!" Lavi waved, Allen and Kanda in tow.

"Welcome back everyone!" Lenalee greeted. "How was your mission?"

"Long as hell!" he groaned. "Three weeks!"

"I feel like I haven't eaten in days," Allen sighed, petting Tim.

Everyone turned to stare at Kanda, waiting for him to add to the conversation. He grunted and turned down the hall, walking towards his room.

"Yu~! Wait, let's all wash up before dinner!" Lavi called, dragging Allen down the hall after him.

"Wait Lavi! The girl's washroom is...!" but before Lenalee could finish all three boys were down the hall, out of sight.

Lavi and Allen dragged Kanda towards the bathroom. Allen was in the lead, holding his feet and walking backwards. Lavi followed, holding a no-longer-struggling Kanda under the arms. The showers were already running, and as the boys rounded the corner Lavi stopped and unceremoniously dumped Kanda onto the floor.

"Lavi, what-?"

"STRIKE!" Lavi cried, a gush of blood running out of his nose. Allen turned and Kanda propped himself up on an elbow looking into the showers. Two very angry and very nude girls were glaring at them.

The boys had just enough time to notice both girls were very... well endowed before a bar of soap came sailing through the air. It hit Lavi in the head with a loud _thonk _and another was fast approaching. All three boys, including a flustered Yu Kanda, scrambled towards the door, tripping over each other to get away from the incoming shampoo bottle.

"What the hell was that?" Allen cried when they were safely on the other side of the door.

"_Who _the hell was that?" Lavi corrected him, still bleeding from the nose.

"They're the new girls," Lenalee huffed. She stood over them, her arms crossed and looking annoyed.

"Oops," Allen said, rubbing the back of his head.

"So... they're staying?" Lavi asked.

Lenalee gave him an exasperated look, "Yes, they'll be staying," she said at last.

"DOUBLE STRIKE!"

* * *

**And so our dynamic duo finally meet some of the men of the Black Order! Now, I just gotta say that the friend I am writing this with is named Alex, and between Allen, Alice, and Alex I'm surprised we even knew who the hell we were talking about as often as we did. XD_  
_**

**Also, I will not be bashing Lenalee in this fic. She will pop up from time to time, so just keep in mind I actually _like_ Lenalee's character.**

**Please leave a review and I'll be back with chapter 3 next week! =D**


	3. Supposed DDs

**Happy Tuesday everyone! Actually I hate Tuesdays... but anyways! Special thanks to Halley Vanaria, The Dark Door, and BloodyRose1213 for reviewing! Now, as for what the pairing will be: ... I'm not tellin! ;3 Everyone will just have to read and find out!**

**I just gotta say chapter 3 is one of my favorites, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

* * *

Alice woke up and blinked away the sleep from her eyes.

"That's not my ceiling…" she groaned drowsily.

The girl gasped and sat up, jumping out of bed, "That's not my ceiling!" As the tall girl tried to get up the blankets tangled themselves around her feet.

* * *

Jasmine sat up quickly and looked around frantically, trying to find what had made the loud crash and woke her up.

"Alice?" she called when she didn't see her friend. Her only answer was a groan. "Alice!?" the brunette rolled over and looked down at the floor between their beds.

"What are you doing down there?" she asked when she saw Alice on the floor, her blankets wrapped around her legs.

"Oh, ya know, just introducing my face to the floor."

"Why?" Jasmine asked while trying to hold back a giggle.

Alice groaned and began to pull herself up off the floor. "Because it wasn't all a bad dream and we really are in _The_ Black Order."

"Oh… oh shit…" Jasmine rolled on her back to make room on the bed as Alice lay down next to her; both girl's staring at the unfamiliar ceiling.

"So, what are we gonna do?"

"I dunno," Alice answered, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "It's not like we can just catch a plane home since planes don't even exist yet. Hell we're not even in the same _world_ as home. We can't exactly leave the Black Order; I'm already praying they don't kick us out…"

"Yeah! Lavi is here!" Jasmine shouted.

"Yes, but if I remember correctly it was _your_ shampoo bottle that almost killed him last night."

"Psh," Jasmine waved of the other girl's remark, "After seeing _both_ of us naked in the shower I really don't think a shampoo bottle will scare him away!"

Despite Alice's frustration she couldn't help but giggle as she remembered all three exorcists, including a bright red Yu Kanda, running away from the flying soap of doom.

"Look," Jasmine sat up and poked Alice, "Why don't we just go get some breakfast and see what Komui decided to do with us."

"Yeah, I guess." Alice padded over to their little vanity and grabbed the few toiletries they were given before heading towards the door.

"Wait!" Jasmine yelled from where she was grabbing her clothes.

Alice stopped, "What?"

"Are you holding deodorant?"

"Yeah…?" Alice questioned, holding out the deodorant stick.

"Did they have deodorant in the 19th century?" Jasmine asked, raising an eyebrow.

The tall girl stared at the deodorant for a moment before shrugging and tossing it lightly into the air, "Minnie, my dear, who cares?" she asked, catching the deodorant stick. "It is a manga after all."

* * *

"We're _what_!?" Jasmine yelled, slamming her tray down on the table.

Lenalee held up her hands in a helpless gesture, "I'm sorry, but it's the Branch Head's orders. It was determined that you two know too much to be considered harmless citizens. So, until further decisions are made you two are not allowed to leave The Black Order."

"Come on! It's not so bad here!" Lavi said, sitting down next to Jasmine and draping a lazy arm around her shoulders.

Jasmine blushed and grinned, "I guess it won't be so bad, right Alice?" she looked meaningfully at her friend. "Alice…?" The light auburn haired girl was staring across the table at Allen who had just sat down. "Alice?" Jasmine poked her in the side. The girl only grunted. "ALICE!?"

Alice jumped, "Hmm? What?"

"What are you doing?" Jasmine asked, staring at Allen as well. The white haired boy was in the middle of wrestling a sandwich away from Tim.

"I was just… I don't understand how he eats all of that." The boy in question had two trays sitting on the table, each piled at least three feet high with food.

"Nobody really knows…" someone whispered from the table behind theirs. "It's a little scary."

The rest of breakfast went well. Jasmine and the boys chatted while Alice learned that despite being golden Timcanpi really was stretchy. Everyone had just finished and were about to go their separate ways when Cross Marian burst through the door.

"You! My tall, sarcastic friend, are having a drink with me!" The red headed man strode over to their group and slung Alice over his shoulder.

"But… wait! It's not even the middle of the day yet!"

"Who cares!?" Cross yelled back before disappearing through the doors with one final booming laugh.

"D-did my best friend just get kidnapped?" Jasmine stared at the swinging door.

"Is she at least 18?" Allen asked.

"Yeah, why?"

Lavi stepped forward to pat her shoulder, "I don't think your gunna get her back."

* * *

"A truly good man knows how to appreciate a nice chest!" Cross's voice rang out across the cafeteria.

"Take Miss Lenalee for instance, she's got some nice boobs; definitely a C and just right for her frame! Now Grey, she's got some curves definitely a D and Alice, hmmmm, it's a little if-y but I put her at D too!" as Cross had been ranting he had cupped his hands in front of his chest as if he could... personally measure them in his mind.

"Hey! I'm a DD you know!" Alice shouted as she and Jasmine Grey entered the room. Both girls' wardrobes still consisted of form-fitting black tank tops and borrowed pieces of uniforms. Jasmine's skirt that was much like Lenalee's and Alice's tight pants only supported Cross's argument about curves and cup sizes.

It was the morning after Alice had been kidnapped by Cross, and Jasmine suspected her friend was suffering from a bit of a hangover after she had come back to their room late last night.

"Oh really...?" Cross mumbled, raising an eyebrow and eyeing Alice's chest intently.

"You? I doubt you're a DD," Lenalee said, surprising everyone.

"What's the matter C-cup, jealous?" Alice smirked, wondering if Miss Lee wasn't as modest as everyone thought.

"Now, now," Cross scolded, "I think you need to provide some proof of these supposed DDs." The masked man said nodding to himself; however, despite how logical this sounded one couldn't help but notice his lewd smirk.

"Oh definitely!" a certain eye patch wearing red head said, sounding just a little too eager as he, Allen and Kanda approached.

"Prove it how?" Alice asked warily.

Jasmine glanced at Lavi and saw his eyes dart between Cross and Allen before his face lit up, "I know!" He said grinning mischievously, "How about a game of strip poker!"

"Strip poker?" Alice asked incredulously, remembering a certain white haired exorcist on a particular train ride and an unfortunate Noah in disguise. No doubt Lavi was remembering the same.

"Excellent idea!" Cross cried, "We can all play!"

"Oh, come on! I have no idea how to play poker, can't we play strip go fish or something?" Jasmine protested.

"Go fish?" Lavi snorted as he draped an arm across her shoulders, "But don't worry, I'll teach ya."

A hand connected with the back of his head, causing him to stumble away a few steps. "I'll teach her, thank you!" Alice growled. She propped her hand on her hip and replaced Lavi's arm with her own around Jasmine's shoulders. "You'd probably just make her lose."

"I don't think I'll be joining you," Lenalee said politely and Jasmine gave a snort:

"What's the matter? Afraid that when the clothes come off they'll see who really wears the big girl panties?"

"Don't be a spoil sport now! The more the merrier!" Lavi grabbed Lenalee's hand and began almost skipping with glee towards the lounge room.

"I know you're not so bad at poker, but do you really think you can beat Cross and_ Allen_?" Jasmine asked a little concerned. She wasn't really worried about showing off some skin, but being the first to loose _and _strip in front of the Black Order's resident drunk/super perv wasn't exactly appealing.

"Beat both Cross and Allen? Probably not, but I can certainly give them a run for their money. I do cheat after all." Alice shrugged.

"You cheat? Where did you learn to do that?"

She shrugged again, "Internet. Now, here's the first thing you gotta know about poker."

* * *

"Aw, damn!" Lavi said throwing down his boxers and standing up, manly parts exposes for all the world to see, "I'm out!"

Alice grabbed the top of Jasmine's head and turned it back towards the cards, _away _from the naked exorcist, but the other girls in the room couldn't help but blush as Lavi was the first one to strip completely since the game had started. Lenalee had gotten out first after she lost her boots, jacket and undershirt, and now sat on the couch still mostly covered but only in her bra up top. Kanda had dropped out second. He had only agreed to play after Lavi's heartfelt promise to do everything in his power to annoy him until the end of their days, and had been a surprisingly good sport until he was left only in his boxers. He dropped out before he lost his last piece of clothing though. And of course Lavi had been the third to go, truly loosing and being the first to strip completely down to his birthday suite. He plopped himself nonchalantly down on a chair to watch the rest.

The last four competitors sat on the floor around the low table in various states of undress. Jasmine had surprisingly only lost her shoes and didn't seem to be in fear of losing more. Allen has so far lost nothing... Cross lost his jacket, revealing a white collared shirt, and Alice was in the process of throwing down her tank top.

"Damn it," she growled as she lost another piece of clothing. So far Alice has lost boots, socks and now shirt, leaving her in only pants and bra.

Next off was Cross's boots.

Surprisingly next was Allen's boots, courtesy of Jasmine.

"Oh you suck!" Alice was left in only her bra and underwear.

Cross lost his shirt next.

To everyone's' surprise Allen finally lost his shirt, and Jasmine lost her tank top as well.

Next was Cross's pants leaving him in only boxers.

"Oh Alice, I think you lose again dear," Cross said as Allen laid down his cards.

Alice looked a little hesitant before she reached behind her back and unclipped her bra. "Here ya perv!" She said, throwing it at Cross's face and trying to ignore Lavi's "Strike!"

"Hmm," Cross grinned checking the tag, "She really is a DD!"

Alice glared and sat up a little straighter, "Jerk, see if I ever drink with you again!"

Jasmine's next hand would have cost Cross the rest of his clothes, but Alice quickly threw a shoe at him, "You better not ya bastard!" Cross wisely obeyed.

A few more hands passed before Alice threw down her cards, "Sorry boys but I think I'd like to keep my undies," she sighed before plopping down next to Cross on the smaller couch. Cross handed off a bottle to her, but as he withdrew his hand she grabbed his wrist. "No touching!"

Lavi scooted his chair closer to Alice and Cross as Allen lost his pants. "Is she really out-cheating Allen?" He whispered.

"Oh she's not cheating," Alice said with a smirk.

"What!?"

"That's right; I don't even think she knows what she's doing."

Suddenly, Allen's boxers hit the floor and Jasmine brought her fist down in victory, "Yeah!"

"That... was all luck?" Lavi asked amazed.

"Yup, and you didn't even get to see her boobs." Alice grinned, mischief dancing in gray eyes.

Just the Komui burst through the door seeing a room full of people in their underwear and a naked Lavi and Allen. He looked around the room with a raised eyebrow before his eyes landed on the half dressed Lenalee.

"WHAT HAVE YOU MONSTERS DONE TO MY BEAUTIFUL LENALEE!?" He cried throwing his jacket over his sister.

* * *

**"Why didn't Alice just let Cross check the tag in the first place?" you may be asking yourself. Dear Readers, where's the fun in that? XD **

**I hope you enjoyed it! Please review, and I'll be back next Tuesday with another chapter! **


	4. Chess Anyone?

**Special thanks to The Dark Door for commenting on chapter 3!**

* * *

"So I hear they handed out a lot of missions this morning." Alice sat on the counter in the girl's washroom.

"To who?" Jasmine's voice came from the still running shower.

"Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Miranda, most of the exorcists. Kanda is staying though; I guess Komui thinks we still need a babysitter." The grey eyed girl picked up her tooth brush and squeezed out a glob of toothpaste.

"What about Cross?" Jasmine asked, coming out of the shower while rubbing her hair dry with a towel. She grinned at her friend who was brushing her teeth while sitting on the counter and swinging her feet.

"Ha! A four year old is more responsible than Cross!" she laughed, her mouth still full of toothpaste. Jasmine could only snort and nod as they both finished up in the washroom and headed back to their room.

"So," the shorter girl asked as they walked down the hall, "what are we gunna do since it's just the two of us?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe we could…"

"There you are Miss DDs!" Alice was cut off as Cross came running towards them. "Join me for a drink!" He shouted as he picked her up and flung her over his shoulder.

"No!" Jasmine shouted, reaching out to Alice as the masked man ran back down the hall. "That's the third time this week you asshole! STOP STEALING MY BEST FRIEND!" It was too late though, Cross was already down the hall and around the corner, and she probably wouldn't be getting Alice back for a few hours. Jasmine made her way back to their room and threw herself down on her bed with a groan. She was alone and had _nothing_ to do, and she could already feel the boredom setting in.

"Now what am I gonna!?" she growled to herself. Jasmine was just about to give up and sleep all day when an idea hit her.

* * *

"Kanda!" Jasmine yelled and plopped down next to the exorcist, "I'm bored~!" she poked at his arm, ignoring the murderous look he gave her.

"So?" he growled, "what do I care?'

"But I'm boooooored~!"

"So find something to entertain yourself!"

"But there's nothing to do! Everyone is gone and Cross kidnapped Alice!" she continued to whine, but Kanda only ignored her.

"Kanda!" Jasmine scooted closer so she was almost sitting in his lap, "Entertain me!"

"No!" Kanda shoved Jasmine away, but she just started poking him again.

"Pleeaase!"

"No!" he started to get up and leave, but the brunette girl just grabbed hold of his leg.

"Don't leave me alone to be bored!" Kanda tried to shake Jasmine off, but she kept an iron grip.

"FINE! We'll go play chess or something!" The exorcist was seething, but Jasmine just let him drag her down the hall to his room.

"So… I don't actually know how to play chess…" the girl admitted when they were both sitting down with the chess board set up between them.

Kanda smacked himself in the forehead, "Whatever, I'll just teach you."

"Okay!" She smiled at him and wondered if, for just a second, he smiled back at her.

* * *

"Shouldn't you put it here, not there?" Alice heard her friend's voice coming out of one of the rooms. _Isn't that Kanda's?_

"This way is more interesting," she heard Kanda reply a little ruefully.

Alice quietly opened the door and peaked inside to see Jasmine and Kanda playing… chess?

Kanda took one of the brunette's pieces; Jasmine groaned and leaned back in her chair "Fuck!"

Alice heard someone coming down the hallway and quietly pulled her head back and shut the door. She could hear faint humming and recognized the tune as one of the more lewd bar songs Cross had recently taught her. Suddenly, the tall girl had an idea and sat down against the wall next to the door, mischief glinting in her eyes. As Cross approached he gave her a questioning look, but Alice merely put her finger to her lips and winked at him. As if on cue a manly, victorious grunt could be heard through the walls followed by a female moan. Cross grinned and sat down next to Alice, offering her the bottle he had with him.

* * *

"Fuuuuuck!" Jasmine crossed her arms, pouting as Kanda won again.

"Well that was fun." Kanda grinned mockingly.

"I'll show you fun!" Jasmine grabbed the nearest weapon, the pillow on Kanda's bed, and lunged for the exorcists.

"Ouch!" she cried when he threw the pillow back her; "Don't be so rough!"

* * *

By the time the only sound coming from the room was loud panting the crowd outside the door had grown substantially. Every person that had passed had become curious and stopped to see what the commotion was, and now nearly two dozen people had their ears pressed to the wall and door. Alice almost felt a little uncomfortable. _She_ knew what was really going on in that room, but no one else did.

_Bunch of pervs. _She thought.

The tall girl suddenly felt a strong arm wrap around her waist and was pulled back away from the door.

"Won't she kill you for this?" Cross whispered in her ear just as the door knob began to turn.

"Nah, Minnie won't… though Kanda might." Cross couldn't see Alice's face, but he could imagine the laughter glittering in grey eyes.

The door swung open and Jasmine came out first looking quite… _disheveled._

Alice struggled free from Cross's grip around her waist and grabbed her friend's arm, "There you are love! It's lunch time, so why don't we get cleaned up and head down to the cafeteria?" She began pulling Jasmine away before the confused girl could say something that would ruin everything.

Alice glanced back towards the crowd of people still around the door and grinned as Kanda came out of the room; she couldn't help but notice the swordsman looked a bit ruffled as well. She continued to drag Jasmine back to their room as she heard Kanda bark a quick, "What the hell are you looking at!?" to the assembled crowd before he stormed down the hall in the opposite direction.

"Okay, what did you do?" Jasmine asked Alice when they were close to their room. The entire way there she could tell Alice had been trying to hold back giggles and could barely hide her wide grin.

"I didn't really do anything, it's more what they think _you_ did," Alice smirked. Closing the door and collapsing onto her bed.

"What did _I _do?" she asked, getting annoyed as Alice started giggling.

"It just sounded so _wrong_! I had no idea chess could sound so dirty! A-all I did was sit outside the door, and then Cross showed up and everyone else s-s-started stopping, and- Oh. My. God. They're all such _pervs_!" Jasmine could barely understand what her friend was saying through all the giggles, but she had a pretty good idea.

"They thought we were….!?"

"Of course they did. Why else would they all stand there outside the door like that if they hadn't thought someone had finally gotten into the pants of the infamous Yu Kanda?"

"I can't believe you!" Jasmine yelled and began beating Alice with a pillow until the tall girl's laughter had finally stopped; however, by that time Jasmine had been laughing just as hard.

"Oh damn, what's everyone going to think when they come back from their missions? There's no way they won't hear about it!" Jasmine whined as they both sat on Alice's bed.

"I doubt they'd believe it, and anyways I'll tell them if you want. I've had my fun."

Jasmine thought about it for a moment, "Huh, let them think what they want, it was too good to spoil it. Besides, it'll still be fun watching everyone freak out about it."

Afterwords Jasmine and Alice had quickly gotten washed up and made their way down to eat lunch. Not much had happened other than the voices in the room practically roaring when the girls had gotten there, but had dropped to dead silence as soon as they walked through the door.

* * *

It was mid-morning the next day when everyone started coming back from missions. The second Allen and Lavi had walked through the door they had been ambushed and forced to sit on a couch that was already occupied by Kanda.

"What's all this about!?" Lavi shouted as he noticed Bookman and Komui were also in the room, along with Cross who had kidnapped them.

Komui cleared his throat, "I-it has come to our attention that, uh- in light of recent …incidents…"

"Oh for the love of-! We're just teachin the boys about the birds and the bees Komui!" Cross grinned and pulled out a cigarette.

* * *

**And so concludes chapter 4! Anyone else feel a little worried for our young heroes?**

**Please review and comeback next week for chapter 5!**


	5. Fucking Fox

**I'm so sorry this too so long to update! Chapter 5 was only half written and I was having some MAJOR writer's block for it. But inspiration finally slapped me in the face and now I love this chap!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Hey! Alice, Jasmine have you seen the guys around?" Lenalee called as she saw the two girls walking down the hall.

Jasmine shook her head, "We didn't even know they were back."

Lenalee frowned. "They came back this morning, but now it's almost lunch time and I haven't seen Allen, Lavi, or Kanda!"

"Maybe they're just resting?" Alice suggested, but the exorcist just shook her head.

"I checked all their rooms..." she said worriedly.

Alice and Jasmine exchanged glances before shrugging, "We'll help you look." Jasmine grinned, "Lunch is no fun without them anyway."

The three girls continued down the hall, checking rooms and corridors as they went, but they couldn't find the anywhere.

"Did you check the lounge room yet?" Alice asked Lenalee after awhile.

"Yes, we've checked everywhere!"

"What about Cross?" Jasmine nudged her grey eyed friend.

"What about him?"

"Maybe he at least knows where Allen is."

Alice held up her hands in defeat, "I doubt it, but it's worth a try."

Of course Cross was rarely in his room during this time of day. Even if he was boisterous laughter and shouted conversations could usually be heard before even getting close to the door, so it was odd for the girls to only hear lecturing tones at a normal volume.

Jasmine grabbed the door knob and was about to turn it when Lenalee stopped her.

"Don't you think we should knock first?"

Jasmine waved her away, "Nah, it's just Cross."

The girls were met with an odd scene when Jasmine threw open the door. Allen, Lavi, and Kanda were huddle together on a couch, their faces twisted in horror and all blushing to a certain degree. Cross and Komui were sitting in chairs across from the couch, but while Cross looked thoroughly amused Komui looked like he really didn't want to be there.

Book-man stood directly in front of the couch, a finger raised as he lectured, "Now boys, make sure you pull out before you..."

Alice grabbed the backs of Jasmine and Lenalee's shirts, quickly pulling the two girls out of the room and slamming the door shut.

"No no no no no no!" Jasmine chanted as she covered her ears with her hands.

"They were talking about..." Lenalee started to stutter, but she just ended up blushing even worse than she already was.

Alice shook her head, "I just don't understand why they made the old man tell them! I can't even imagine the last time he-"

"STOP!" Jasmine slapped a hand over the taller girl's mouth, "You're making the mental picture worse! I'm going to have nightmares!"

Just then the door cracked open and Komui's face became visible, "Umm... I'm sorry ladies, but we're a little... busy right now...?"

Before Komui could close the door Alice's foot connected with the wood, hard. The blue haired man was knocked on his back and both Alice and Lenalee planted a foot on his chest.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Alice growled, planting fists on her hips.

"Stupid brother, at least lock the door!"

"And you!" Alice stepped over Komui and poked Cross firmly in the chest, "You know just as well as I do what was really going on in that room!"

"Now Aly," Cross tsked and grabbed the tall girl's chin, lifting her face closer to his. "I played along with your fun, now let me have mine. Beside... you're so cute when you're embarrassed."

Suddenly, a hand clamped down on each of Alice's shoulders and she was pulled back protectively by Jasmine and Lenalee. "Try not to break them more!" the brunette called over her shoulder as she pushed Alice and Lenalee out of the room.

"That... was pretty fucking creepy..." Jasmine said when they were a ways down the hall.

"Yeah..." Alice glanced over her should and unconsciously moved closer to her friend, "Maybe we should sleep with the door locked from now on..."

* * *

"Did you really have to sleep in my bed last night?" Jasmine groaned as she and Alice walked down the hall.

"What? I was suffering from emotional trauma!" Alice whined and covered her face.

"I think we were all suffering from emotional trauma."

"Right?" Alice said with a snort, " I wonder how the boys are dealing with..."

"Well hello there Aly girl!" the girls heard a familiar voice call down the hall.

"Shit, it's Cross! Hide!" Alice cried, pulling Jasmine into the nearest room and locking the door.

They sat with their ears to the door for a while, listening to make sure Cross really had moved on, when they heard a muffled sneeze behind them. Both girls whipped around and saw three figures huddled together in the back of the dark storage room.

"Allen, is that you?" Jasmine called out, recognizing his white hair.

"Why are you guys sitting here in the dark?" Alice asked as she felt along the wall for a light switch.

The other two figures pushed Allen forward when Jasmine began tapping her foot expectantly.

"Wh-what are you two doing here in the dark?" Alice exchanged raised eyebrows with her friend when they heard the exorcist's voice shake, even though they could barely see each other.

"We were hiding from Cross. Now can you actually answer our question?" the brunette sighed.

"We're hiding too..." the white haired boy began to sweat.

"Hiding from what?" Alice finally found the light switch and flicked it on, only to have Allen push past her and bolt for the door.

"FEMALES!" He cried after unlocking the door and running halfway down the hall before the others could realize what happened.

"Kanda? Lavi?" Jasmine reached out for the red head now that she could clearly see the other two figures in the room. Before she could touch him Lavi jumped up and dragged Kanda out of the room by his pony tail, strangely Kanda didn't even seem to care.

"That was... weird..." Jasmine mumbled as she stepped out of the room to find the boys had already made it around the corner. "I'm not sure if I should be worried... or laughing my ass off..."

Alice chuckled, but Jasmine could see that her friend wasn't really paying attention, and seemed to be deep in thought.

* * *

"So they're really still avoiding women?" Lenalee asked Alice.

It had been a few days since the little storage room incident and the two girls were in the lounge waiting for Jasmine.

"Yup, Kanda has pretty much just been more antisocial, but Allen gets scared to death every time he sees anything with boobs."

Alice grinned as she heard Lenalee try and suppress a giggle, but sat up straight on the couch when she heard voices coming towards the door.

"We should really try and get Yu out of his room," Lavi was saying loudly, "I think he's going to start sprouting mushrooms soon!"

"Y-yeah," Allen replied nervously.

Alice put her finger to her lips and winked at the green haired girl before she quietly got up and hide to the side of the door way.

"Are you sure they wont b..." Allen's question was cut short as he saw Lenalee, his eyes went wide and he was just about to run again when Alice reached out and grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Gotcha!" she yelled, ignoring the boy's yelp and dragging him further into the room, Lavi obediently followed.

"You guys are really starting to piss me off," Alice raised a lecturing finger with one hand and kept a hold of Allen's shirt with the other. "Honestly, the way you act like every woman is going to rape you or something is just getting redic-"

"Oh my God, they've come out of hiding!" Jasmine snorted as she entered the room, hair still wet from her shower.

Before anyone could comment Lavi's eyes locked on Jasmine and he used the distraction to tear Allen's shirt from Alice's hand and ran for the door.

"FEMALES!" Their cries of fear echoed through the Order.

"-ulous..." Alice sighed and let her finger drop. "I hate idiots..."

Jasmine and Lenalee nodded.

"We could always give them our own talk," the brunette suggested.

Lenalee shook her head and blushed a little, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Yeah," Alice agreed, "Who's gunna give it to them, you?"

"Why can't you?"

The gray eyed girl only gave her an exasperated look until Jasmine shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah, you'd probably just scar them more."

* * *

Alice wandered down the halls, hands in her pockets and whistling. It wasn't too early, but Jasmine was still asleep and the taller girl was feeling restless. She stopped whistling when she heard foot steps and saw Lavi round the corner in front of her. She waited for him to spot her and run away, but he only met her eyes and smiled.

_ Strange..._

When the red head got close enough Alice grabbed his arm and pulled him into the same storage room she and Jasmine had found them in almost a week ago.

"You're a very physical person, did you know that!?" Lavi cried rubbing his head.

Alice rolled her eyes and leaned against the door, "Why are you avoiding Jasmine?"

"Well that was blunt," he laughed.

"But it's true."

"In case you haven't noticed I've kind of been avoiding _all_ women."

"You're not avoiding me."

"Well you have kidnapped me..."

A wolfish grin spread across the girl's face as she stepped away from the door, "Let's be honest Lavi, when it comes to women Allen is still just a kid and both he and Kanda are too focused on exorcist stuff. You, on the other hand, are a perv. Maybe you're sexually innocent, but you're mind is in the gutter, you weren't traumatized by that 'talk' and you're not avoiding women, just Jasmine."

"You don't know what you're talking about, I've been avoiding women all week!"

"You didn't run away from Lenalee and I a few days ago in the lounge room, not until Jasmine walked in."

"She was just a distraction," he pouted.

"'Just a distraction,' hmm? That's a shame, you're her type."

He looked away, "So is Kanda."

Alice smiled and unlocked the door. "Don't be an idiot, he's not her type, they were just playing chess. Ask her yourself," she threw the last comment over her shoulder as she walked out of the room, leaving a very confused red head.

* * *

"Yo," Lavi yawned as he plopped down next to Jasmine on the couch.

The girl had been reading by herself in the lounge room, but she put her book aside, feigning surprise. "What are you doing here? Aren't you afraid of the," she leaned over, cupping a hand over her mouth, "females?" She mock whispered.

The red head chuckled and slung an arm around the brunette's shoulders, "Eh, emotional traumas gotta wear off eventually, but actually I was wondering about something a little birdie told me."

"Yeah? And what's that?" Jasmine asked, leaning against him.

"That you and Yu like to play chess," he examined his nails as he said it.

"Aww, guess someone let the cat out of the bag," Jasmine laughed, " Alice will be disappointed, she hates it when people spoil her fun."

"So you really were just playing chess?" Lavi still seemed a little confused.

"Yes! But I guess if you didn't know then the things we were saying sounded kinda wrong, Alice just set it up so it _looked _wrong too."

The exorcist seemed to almost sigh in relief as he got up and took Jasmine's hand, "Well, we wouldn't want to spoil her fun even more now would we?" he winked as he kissed her hand and left the room, smirking as he made her blush. As he passed through the doorway he scowled at the figure leaning against the wall just out of view.

"Fucking fox," he mumbled as he walked by.

Her only reply was a toothy grin as mischief danced in gray eyes.

* * *

After that life at the Black Order became pretty uneventful. Alice did eventually have to explain to everyone else that Jasmine and Kanda really were just playing chess to avoid left-over tension between the samurai and a certain eye-patch wearing exorcist. The only problem was Jasmine and Lavi discovered something they have in common: a love of taking naps, even in the most random of places.

"I still don't see how it's possible for him to eat that much," Alice said to Kanda as the two of them, along with Allen and Lenalee, took their food to their usual lunch table. When they got there; however, they found Jasmine and Lavi napping on the table. That's right, not on the bench, but on the table itself.

"Minnie I swear if you don't get up and move your ass I'll dump food on you!" Alice yelled and held her tray threateningly over her friend's head.

"No no!" the shorter girl yelled as she leaped up and covered her hair, "You wouldn't dare!"

* * *

Alice strolled down the main hallway, hands in her pockets and whistling loudly when she was grabbed by the arm and pulled towards the science division by Reever.

"What the hell!? How have none of you been arrested for kidnapping yet!?"

"Forget kidnapping!" Reever growled, "Just get them out of my lab!"

Alice sighed as she saw Jasmine and Lavi asleep smack in the middle of the floor.

"Yo!" she grumbled, nudging the sleeping forms none too lightly with her foot. "It's time to wake the hell up!"

They both just groaned and rolled over.

* * *

And of course there was the time Alice was running away from Cross:

"My DDs come back! I'm sorry I was so cruel!" Cross cried as he chased after Alice.

"Noooo! You're creepy!" Alice shouted back. She rounded a corner and jumped into the nearest broom closet, somehow managing to close the door quietly behind her. However, what was not quiet was the sound of her tripping and landing in a heap with two warm bodies.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Oh come on! You guy's are really napping in a broom closet?"

"Well you're hiding in a broom closet..."

Before anymore words could be said Cross flung open the door, "I found you! ~3"

"Shit!" Alice cried and just managed to squeeze under Cross's arm and take off running again.

* * *

Alice yawned and stumbled into her and Jasmine's shared bedroom. It wasn't particularly late, but she had convinced some of the exorcists to teach her some sparing moves and she was tired and sore. She was just about to plop into her bed when she realized someone, or rather two someones, were already occupying it.

"Really!? You two can at least sleep in Minnie's bed!?" She yelled, shoving then both with her foot.

"We couldn't make it all the way to my bed," Jasmine groaned sleepily.

Alice face-palmed, "Your bed is closer to the door!"

**Ah! Finally done and finally updated! I hope you liked it, please leave a review, and watch out for chapter 6!**


	6. Merry Christmas

**I know it's been so long since I last updated! After suffering from writer's block for a long time my friend finally managed to kick me into shape, but then I was so incredibly busy I could only work on it a little bit at time. But enough excuses! This chapter also somehow turned out being quite long compared to the other, so consider it a treat after such a long absence. I've also changed to story rating to M, mostly because I'm paranoid, but also because it's a bit downhill from here.**

**Now, at long last, I give you chapter 6! **

* * *

Jasmine yawned and sat up, looking around the room. She squinted at the clock on the wall: 5:05 a.m. She groaned and flopped back, she really had to pee...but the bathroom was sooo far away. She sighed and glanced at Alice but her friend was still fast asleep. The brunette groaned and rolled over again, 5:06 a.m...and she _still_ had to pee.

Finally, she let out an exasperated sigh and dragged herself out of bed.

"Where're ya goin?" Alice asked in a sleep slurred voice.

"Pee."

"Well have fun with that." Alice yawned and turned so her back was towards the door.

Jasmine padded down the dark hallway to the bathroom, glancing out one of the large windows as she passed. She froze and stared at the courtyard outside. The ground was blanketed by a thick layer of fluffy white snow. She had to resist the urge to sprint outside and run around in the frosty awesomeness, she'd have to get Alice to do that with her later.

_Wait__... __Alice__... __snow__..._

Jasmine grinned and ran to the nearest broom closet, grabbing a bucket and running towards the nearest window.

"Wakey, wakey!" Jasmine tossed the contents of the bucket over her sleeping friend. The snow had fallen dry and fluffy pouring like sand over the bed.

"Holy shit! Cold!" Alice yelled and jumped off the bed.

Jasmine ripping the blanket off the bed had woken the grey eyed girl, but the bucket of snow had followed too quickly for her to get out of the way.

"What is _wrong _with you!?" Alice yelled as she danced around the room trying to wipe off the snow.

Jasmine couldn't stop laughing as a soaking wet Alice glared at her from across the room.

"What was _that _for!?"

"Pay back for that little 'Chess Incident,'" the brunette winked.

"Well payback's a bitch, Sweetheart." Alice growled before curling up in Jasmine's dry bed.

"Hey! What are you...?"

"You soaked my bed! Now go to sleep!"

* * *

"Guys! You gotta come outside and build snowmen with us!" Jasmine yelled excitedly as she dragged Allen into the room behind her.

"Snowmen...?" Lenalee asked as she put down the book she was reading.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Please tell me you know what a snowman is?"

"Of course I do! But-"

"No buts!" Jasmine yelled as she pulled the green haired girl off the couch and pushed her through the doorway, still dragging Allen behind. "Frosty awaits!"

They paraded into the courtyard after everyone had rushed to get heavier clothes. On the way back from their room Jasmine and Alice had passed Kanda and kidnapped convinced him to come as well. The girls were surprised to see how much the exorcists had gotten into it once the snowman was started; however...

"Come on boys! Put some muscle into it!" an onlooker yelled from one of the windows as Jasmine and Alice stared dumbfounded.

The snowman was at least 10 ft tall... and they hadn't even gotten the head on yet.

"Are you sure we were making frosty?" Alice muttered. "Cause I'm pretty sure that's King Kong."

"Where are we gonna carrot big enough for the nose!? We already need boulders for eyes!" Jasmine wondered aloud as she stared up at the now 15ft snowman.

Suddenly, Alice smirked as she saw a familiar figure approach them.

"Well, it looks like everyone's been busy while I was gone." Jasmine squeaked as Lavi wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind.

"You're back!" the brunette beamed as she looked back at him, blushing.

He smiled, "Are you busy right now?"

She turned around to face him, glancing over her shoulder at Alice and the others. "I think they've got it covered." Jasmine said, wrapping her arms around the exorcist's neck.

"Then let's go for a walk!" Lavi grinned, removing his own arms from where they had settled around her waist.

"Hey Minnie!"

They were just about to leave.

"What!?"

_Splat_

A wet snowball splattered against Jasmine's shoulder.

"Bitch!" Jasmine yelled.

"Thy name is payback!" she shook her head as she heard the parting words, the grey eyed girl disappeared behind the snowman.

"I think she's still mad at me."

"Really? Why do you say that?" Lavi asked sarcastically as they began to walk farther away from the others.

"Well, for one she usually can't aim for shit. But I also might have thrown snow on her this morning..." Jasmine said with a grin.

"You're not worried about any retaliation? She doesn't seem like the type to just let that go," Lavi warned.

Jasmine laughed, "Of course she's not, but we've had all out prank wars before. But anyway, enough about Alice, I'm with her all the time. How was your mission?"

"Ah~ it was pretty boring."

"Really?" Jasmine purred, "you didn't see any strike worthy girls?"

Lavi grinned and leaned towards her, "No, but I see one right now."

Jasmine couldn't stop the fierce blush as he came even closer. He grabbed her chin and lifted her face upwards- only to plop a large handful of snow on her nose.

She gasped and jumped back sputtering. "Oh you little-!" she growled and scooped up a snowball. He stuck his tongue out with a cheeky grin as snow exploded in his face.

"Oh, you know what this means!" he mocked. Before Jasmine could run he tackled her to the ground and they went rolling over the snowbank.

"Get off!" the brunette laughed as she threw more snow at him, most of it going on herself as well.

"Give up!" he yelled as he began tickling her furiously.

"Never!"

"Fine," he gave a toothy grin and pinned her to the ground.

"That's not fair," Jasmine pouted.

"Well maybe this will make up for it," he grabbed her wrist and slipped cold metal around it.

"I hope you like it, Princess," he brushed a light kiss across her fingers and sat back, pulling her up with him.

Jasmine looked down at the small silver bracelet adorned with delicate blue glass beads and crystals.

"It's beautiful," she whispered.

"Yeah," Lavi's smile was light as he reached up and gently brushed a strand of hair behind Jasmine's ear and planted a soft kiss on her temple "Just like you."

* * *

"Pretty bracelet," Alice sat down on the bed and grabbed her friend's wrist. "Where did you get it?"

Jasmine let out a dreamy sigh and continued to stare up at the ceiling.

"Hey?" Alice teased, nudging the brunette, "Did you suffer a mental collapse of something?"

Jasmine once again let out a dreamy sigh and the taller girl stared at her in mock shock. "Oh my god! Could it be- you got _laid_!?"

Dark eyes glared "You would go there, wouldn't you?"

"Of course." she winked, "And unless there is some other victim of cupids arrow running around the Order I'm going to guess Lavi."

"It was so romantic!" Jasmine finally squealed and grabbed her best friend's arm. "We went for a walk, and he pinned me in the snow, and then he gave me the bracelet, and he kissed me and called me beautiful!"

"He pinned you in the snow?"

"And the way he said it was so soft and gentle!"

"Before or after he pinned you in the snow?"

"And the way he grabbed my face I almost fainted!"

"Well at least it wouldn't be too far to the ground since he had you pinned in the snow."

"Would you _stop_ that!" Jasmine cried punching Alice's arm. "I've been in love with Lavi since you first made me read this damn manga, and now he's here and he just called me beautiful!" She cried, shaking the grey eyed girl.

"And I'm extremely happy for you, though I'm not surprised." Alice chuckled while getting up and walking towards the door.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean!?" Jasmine cried after her retreating back. She tried to get up to follow only to fall flat on her face. She looked and to find her boot laces tied to the bedpost.

"When the hell did she...? Ugh! Screw you!"

"Paybacks a bitch, Sweetheart!" Came the sing-song reply from down the hall.

Jasmine struggled up onto one leg and plopped down on the bed, begging to work at the impossibly tangled laces, "What the hell kind of knot _is__this_!?"

"Hey!" Lavi called to her as Jasmine finally stumbled into the cafeteria. "What took you so long?"

"Just ask this bitch" she growled, sitting down hard across from Alice.

"Are... are you two fighting?" Allen asked nervously.

"Of course not, Just a little war." Alice flashed a toothy grin.

"Wars are fighting." Lenalee eyed them both as Alice's grin grew wider.

"Not this one."

"WHAT'S THIS!?" Cross cried, suddenly bursting through the door. "Is that a declaration of war I hear?"

He grabbed Alice around the waist and threw her over his shoulder, "I must help you plan and reclaim my place in your favor!" He was out of the room and down the hall before anyone had the chance to blink.

"You know... he just stole your best friend."

"You know," Jasmine said stealing a roll from Lavi's plate. "I don't even care right now."

* * *

Jasmine rolled over with a sigh and looked out the window. With how dark it still was outside it was definitely an ungodly hour in the morning. She glanced at Alice's bed looking for the tell-tale shape of her sleeping friend, but only saw half made sheets.

_Weird_. Alice never usually stayed with Cross all night.

She was just about to go back to sleep when it happened.

_BRIIIIIIIIING__!_

The room exploded with the constant ring of an old fashioned alarm clock. Jasmine jumped out of bed and ran to the light switch, almost tripping on the way. She frantically searched the room, trying to find the ringing bastard.

"GOOD MORNING, MY DEAR LADY!" Cross suddenly yelled, bursting through the door.

"Cross! What the fuck are you doing here!?"

"OH, JUST HELPING OUT A DEAR FRIEND OF MINE!"

"What are you-" Jasmine asked, confused before the answer dawned on her. "Alice! Where is she!? I'm going to _kill_ her!"

"AH, I'LL NEVER TELL!" Cross continued to yell even as the ringing of the alarm clock stopped.

"Oh thank god."

"OH DON'T WORRY! YOU'LL NEVER FIND THAT BUGGER, AND IT GOES OFF AT THE SAME TIME EVERY MORNING!"

"Oh god! You tell that bitch this means war!"

* * *

"Well you're up early," Alice said with mock cheerfulness, sitting down next to Jasmine.

"Oh yeah, I had quite the- wake up call." She snipped back, pushing a plate of food towards her.

Alice was just about to take a bite when someone was suddenly standing behind them.

"Helloooo, I've never seen an exotic beauty like you around here." the guy was tall and probably a finder or part of the science division. He kneeled down on the bench to lean his elbow on the table.

"I don't usually wake up this early," Jasmine said, unimpressed.

"Well, maybe if you have some time later we could- hang out." He winked.

An exasperated sigh and Jasmine put down her fork, "Sorry buddy, but I'm interested in someone else."

"Aww, I don't think he'd mind too much." he inched even closer.

Alice rolled her eyes and wrapped an arm around the shorter girl's waist. "Actually, I do mind." She purred while narrowing grey eyes.

"You- wha...I can work with that."

Alice scooped up a forkful of egg and flicked it at his forehead. "Get lost, Casanova!"

He grumbled and stalked out of the cafeteria, followed by his friends' laughter.

"You know that's probably gunna get around, right?" Jasmine poked but didn't shrug off Alice's arm.

"Yeah well, a little gossip is good from time to time." Alice withdrew her arm and took a large bite of egg.

"Holly _Hit_!" Alice spit the egg back out on the try and shoved half a piece of bread her her mouth.

"What the hell was _that__!" _Alice asked through watering eyes.

"What's wrong," Jasmine grinned. "Spicy?"

"Jesus! I feel like I ate a spoonful of _fire_!"

Jasmine continued laughing as Alice began chugging down a glass of milk. Alice did even like milk!

"What did you DO!?"

"Oh, just had Jeryy spice up your food a little." Jasmine chuckled.

"How... what... _WHY__!?_"

Jasmine clasped a hand on the grey eyed girl's shoulder, "Payback, My Dear."

* * *

"So," Jasmine plopped down next to the red-haired exorcist. "I need your help with something."

Lavi eyed her for a moment before getting up and walking across the room, his back to her. "Why don't you go ask Alice?"

"Because I want to prank Alice!" Jasmine smirked.

"That doesn't sound very nice."

"She started it," Jasmine shrugged and crossed the room to slip her arms around his chest when he didn't turn to face her. "Are you okay? Cause you're acting kind of... weird."

Lavi pulled out of her hug to face her, "Maybe because the entire Order has been talking about you and Alice all morning! You lead me on!"

"But Lavi, I thought that was every guy's dream!"

"Wh-? In what world is that any guy's dream!? You lied to me!"

Jasmine crossed her arms, lips pouting, "Why are you being such a little bitch about this? I didn't lie to anyone!"

"Do you think I'm an idiot? You told that guy you and Alice were dating!"

"You are an idiot! _Alice_ told that guy we were dating! When he was hitting on me!"

Lavi suddenly stopped, "Alice was lying?"

"Yes! She was just trying to get rid of that guy!" Jasmine said, throwing up her hands.

"Why didn't you just say so!?"

"You didn't give me a chance!"

"Oh yes I did! You've had plenty of chances since the moment that guy left the room!" He pointed an accusing finger at her.

"But where's the fun in that!" Jasmine smacked away Lavi's finger.

"You're just as bad as she is!"

"No way! She's definitely worse!"

"Yeah," Lavi finally smirked, "I guess she'd have to be after that... chess incident"

"Ch, yeah whatever." Jasmine turned to walk out of the room only to have Lavi grab her arm and pull her into a hug.

"No! I'm sorry! I should have known... I should have trusted you!"

Jasmine tried to stay angry, but soon ended up laughing and bonking him playfully on the head. "Yeah, yeah. I forgive you," she glanced at the clock. "but I have to go. We'll talk about that prank later!"

Lavi leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek, "Deal."

Jasmine blushed and rushed out of the room, not noticing as Lavi ran a hand through his hair. "Those two are a bunch of trouble. Her and that fucking fox."

* * *

"So, tell me again why we are moving Alice's bed into Cross' room?" Lavi asked as he struggled to push the bed _quietly_ down the hall.

"Because" Jasmine grunted, "she stuck an alarm clock in the fucking _walls_ in our room. Plus, she's been sleeping somewhere else anyway so it doesn't wake her up at an ungodly hour every. damn. morning, but now it's gone and she's moved back in. So, I'm returning the favor and moving her bed. To Cross' room."

"What's going to stop her from sleeping in your bed?" Lavi asked as they maneuvered the bed through the doorway.

"My foot, that's what!"

Lavi chuckled and planted a kiss on the brunette's cheek. "I'm just surprised you two can hold a prank war for _two __weeks_ without actually getting... mad at each other."

Jasmine shrugged and started back down the hall towards her room, "We're just badass like that, but I have to go get ready for the Christmas party. See you there!" She blew a kiss at him and shut the bedroom door.

"You... moved my bed?" Alice asked as soon as the door was closed.

Jasmine jumped and whirled around, but hid it by planting her hands on her hips. "Nope, it got up and walked."

Alice chuckled, shaking her head and shooing Jasmine over to the mirror to get ready. The already tall girl seemed even taller in a simple, long sleeved, red, fitted dress that ended just above her knees and a pair of red pumps.

She helped Jasmine step into her dress and after putting on her own heels the shorter girl looked at herself in the mirror. Her dress was long and blue, a little out of season with no back except for two crossing straps and strap sleeves, but she didn't care and it went perfectly with the bracelet Lavi had given her.

"This party better be worth it," Alice grumbled. "After how long it took us to find these dresses."

It _had_ taken them a long time to find the dresses. The D. Gray-Man universe wasn't completely accurate to it's time period, but it was still somewhat accurate and made finding familiar styles hell.

Jasmine was just finishing some final touch ups when they heard a knock at the door.

Jasmine nearly squeaked, much to Alice's amusement "That must be Lavi! Alice get the door!"

"What? No please?" she growled, but the light auburn haired girl moved to open it anyway.

Standing on the other side was indeed Lavi- in a suit.

"Well, well," Alice whistled, "You actually _can_ get cleaned up nice!"

Lavi glared as he eyed the fox in red before before he snorted "I'd say the same for you." His voice was laced with an equal amount of sarcasm.

Alice gave a wolfish grin as she slid past him into the hall, "Just don't hurt her Casanova, or I will kill you, training or not. See you downstairs!" she called the last part over her shoulder to Jasmine who was still in the room.

"I hope you know your best friend is insane..." Lavi said as he at last entered the room.

"You're tellin me!" she laughed and took his offered arm.

"You look beautiful, by the way." He leaned in and, as Jasmine turned to answer, gently kissed the unsuspecting girl on the lips.

"Wha-!?" A blush rushed up Jasmine's cheeks, but Lavi's grin only widened.

"Merry Christmas."

* * *

"You! My good Sir, look like you know how to treat a lady!" Jasmine attempted to purr as she plopped down in Cross' lap.

The pervert grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist, "Well! You! My fine Lady, are absolutely right! Why don't I show-"

"No, no!" Alice growled as she pulled Jasmine off yet another man's lap. "Why don't we go over and get something to eat?" She plopped her friend down on the farthest chair from anything that looked even remotely male and made her way over to the food table. Of course the party couldn't go smoothly, not for her anyway, and half the exorcists and science division had been called away to take care of business about an hour into the party. Which left Cross in charge, Lavi gone, and Alice to babysit a _very_ drunk Jasmine and Allen.

"I swear to God Allen, if you don't stop eating _everything_ I will tape your mouth shut and hog-tie you in a corner!"

"Come on my DDs! Relax! Have a little fun!" Cross cried, throwing an arm around Alice shoulders.

"Don't give me that you asshole! How did they even _get_ drunk!? That's right! You spiked the fucking punch and those two are the biggest lightweights I've ever seen!"

"Haha! A little booze won't hurt 'em!"

Alice pinched the bridge of her nose, "Yes, but unlike you I know that most people are _not_ immune to hangovers. A hell I would not wish upon anyone."

Cross' grin only widened, "It builds character!"

"Just help me get them to bed." Alice sighed as pulled one of Jasmine's arms over her shoulder, grabbed the younger girl around the waist, and began half carrying her towards their room.

When they finally reached the door she waited for Cross, who was carrying a passed out Allen fireman style, to open it.

Once he did the red haired man turned to leave, but was stopped by Alice's call to hold on.

"What's this about?" Cross asked as he saw a familiar light of mischief dancing in grey eyes.

"Oh, you know I can't pass up the opportunity for a good prank." She said as she messed up the bed sheets. "Strip him down, _all_ the way down."

* * *

As soon as Jasmine woke up she felt like dying, right then and there. The world was too bright, the birds were too fucking loud, and she was pretty sure if she even thought about moving she would puke. Everywhere. She moved to brush away a strand of hair when she realized something was wrong, she was butt naked... and there's someone else in her bed... and they were spooning.

With growing dread Jasmine shifted around to see who her mysterious bed buddy was, perhaps hoping it was a certain red-head, and instantly jumped out of the bed, hangover forgotten.

"Oh no fucking way!"

Allen jumped out of the bed, woken by Jasmine's shout, and looked around frantically for any danger.

"No fucking _way_!" Jasmine cried again as she saw Allen was wearing nothing but a tie. "No, no, no! You're like five!"

"I'm wha-why are you naked!?" the white haired exorcist finally seemed to become aware of his own predicament and scrambled for a pillow. "Why am I naked!"

"Oh shit! I'm a pedophile! This was statutory rape!"

"Sitchu-what!? Wait, wait! We did what!?"

"I'm never touching booze again! It's evil!" Jasmine grabbed the sheet from her bed, wrapping it around herself and threw Allen pants at him from where they lay in a heap on the floor. "You need to leave!" she said, pushing Allen toward the door even as he struggled to pull his pants on. "Never speak of this! If you see Alice tell her to get in here!"

She slammed the door shut as soon as Allen had passed through and began sinking to the floor with a groan. No sooner had she settled on the floor when she heard familiar footsteps coming towards the door. She flung it open and pulled her best friend into the room before the grey eyed girl even had time to yelp.

"I had drunk sex with Allen!" she cried and flung herself at the taller girl.

"You what? Love, I know we're close but you're hugging me while naked!"

Jasmine blushed and quickly stepped back, wrapping the sheet more securely around herself.

"This morning I woke up naked! In bed with Allen, and his tiny little man thing on my _ass_!"

"What? Were you spooning?"

"Yes! We were spooning! And our clothes were all rumpled on the floor and he's only like 15!"

Alice sat down on her bed. "I think he's more like 17."

"It doesn't matter how old he is!" Jasmine cried pulling on a shirt. "What about _Lavi_!?"

Alice face-palmed as she fell back on the bed.

_Oops..._

* * *

_****_**Well, there you go! I promise I'll try not to take as long to get chapter 7 out!**

**Also, since ages are a little messed up in my twisted little world here I'll make a reference if anyone was wondering (Most of these are approximations):**

**Kanda: 21-22**

**Alice: 20, almost 21**

**Lavi: 20ish**

**Jasmine: 20**

**Lenalee: 18ish**

**Allen: 17-18**


End file.
